Entering into couples therapy is never easy. People don't usually find themselves skipping and jumping into the process. It's usually when things feel tough or there is a crisis that has happened in your relationship that motivates you to make the call.
Beyond it being a very difficult time for you and your relationship, it can also be nerve wracking to go to couples therapy. Today's post focuses on what to expect in the couples therapy process at Zoey Holguin Therapy.
The First Session
The first session is discussing your relationship including what is what like in the beginning and what it is like now, when and how it started to change, intimacy and how you fight, how you comfort each other and what prompted you to reach out for couples counseling at this time. We’ll talk about the changes you’d both like to see and how we might partner together to accomplish them.
The Individual Sessions
The next two sessions will be individual sessions. This gives the therapist and the individual partner a chance to get to know one another and understand family history as well as an attachment history.
Coming Back Together
After the individual sessions are completed and it is determined that couples therapy is still a good fit, the first stages of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy are employed. In the beginning this looks a lot like the therapist spending some time speaking to each partner individually to understand what is happening for the partner when the cycle of a fight begins. As the couple feels ready and deeper understanding is gathered as to what propels the fighting cycle, more productive and helpful conversations between partners begin to emerge.
Sometimes Couples Therapy Isn't the Answer
Some indications that couples counseling is not appropriate include an active substance use issues in which the issues aren’t actively being addressed and worked on. Also, any active domestic violence in the home. It is recommended those struggling should seek individual assistance before entering into the couples work.
And some pointers to the couples therapy process include a) it takes time, b) there is no magic pill and c) it’s hard work — but with acceptance and non-judgement, our therapists will assist you in the best way we know how to help your relationship along.
If you are ready to do the hard work to understand yourself, the cycle of your relationship and how to lessen the fighting while growing in depth and security within your partnership, contact us today to schedule your initial appointment.