5 Tips for Opening Up To Your Partner if You're Super Guarded

I'm one of those people that doesn't like conflict and finds it difficult to open up. Emotions just aren't my thing. Funny, right? I'm a therapist and emotions aren't my thing. Yep, it's something I've learned to be frenemies with in my own personal and professional journey. But I digress. So, let's say you too don't do emotions. You are in fact super guarded. That doesn't work in a relationship all the time but you probably knew that. So, how do you open up to your partner when everything in your body and mind says not to.  Here are my tips about what you can do to open up to your partner if you are super guarded: 

  • Communicate with your partner that opening up is a difficult process for you and name some of your fears around opening up. 
  • Tell you partner how they can be supportive to you as you open up. Name your expectations for their response. Do you want advice? Do you want them to just listen and reflect back what you've said? Tell them beforehand.
  • Start small. Pick a smaller, more manageable issue or talking point. Don't overwhelm yourself. 
  • Know that it is going to feel uncomfortable at first. Also, know that you are in control at all times and can stop if you need to. Tell your partner as such. 
  • Thank your partner for their understanding and tell them how much it means to you that they respect your struggle to be open amongst your fears. 

Easier said than done, right? You can do this. Let's talk more about it. Contact me for a free 15-minutes consultation to discuss how conquering your fears and communicating more freely can improve your relationship as well as your well-being.